In a pro-business speech today insane lunatic David Cameron said “Business is … the most powerful force for social progress the world has ever known”.

What transparently ridiculous nonsense. Why is a British Prime Minister talking such utter bullshit? This man has a first in PPE! That can’t be at all difficult if this is the standard of argument.

I look forward to hearing David Cameron explain how the PIP company that made substandard breast implants was such a powerful force for social progress. I was under the impression that this business was knocking out substandard shit and hiding the fact from inspectors to increase profits. We’re waiting for the explanation Cameron.

Then there’s the bankers that caused the global recession. Once again I will be very interested to hear David Cameron explain how greedy bankers lining their own pockets and causing a global recession are such an unequalled force for social progress.

He could perhaps explain how the UK’s privatised train service with huge public subsidies, ridiculously expensive ticket prices and useless standards of service is such a wonderful force for social progress.

I’m looking forward to hearing how fast food retailers McShit and Kentucky Fried Shit are such wonderful forces for social good. I’d like to hear what they’ve achieved in the way of social progress.

I wonder how EDO and other businesses building weapons of mass destruction are such an unequalled force for social progress. I can’t wait for Mr. Cameron to explain.

Then there’s the Bhopal disaster. There was me thinking that Union Carbide had cut costs to increase profits and consequently killed hundreds and ruined thousands of peoples’ lives. I’m waiting for Mr. Cameron’s explanation.

I don’t really expect to hear Mr.Cameron explain these events as examples of unequalled forces for social progress and to be quite honest I’m not expecting Mr. Cameron to provide any examples at all of businesses being such wonderful forces for social progress. That’s because he’s talking absolute, ridiculous crap. Businesses are about making profits. They have no interest in social progress.

edit: Cameron’s speech actually mentions McShit